When You Ask a Question - Give Them Time to Respond
As a leader, it's easy to assume that it's up to you to make the right decisions, to give practical instructions, and to generally make sure that things are running smoothly. While those roles are undoubtedly part of your job description, the most effective leaders know that there is one skill that must be done exceptionally well: asking questions. However, it doesn't end there. A good leader must not only ask thought-provoking questions but must also be ready to give others the time and space to consider their answer. And as the case with other essential skills that good managers must possess, this sounds much easier than it is.
Why pauses can be difficult
Most people today are moving so quickly that they miss opportunities to consider what other people are saying, choosing instead to wait for their turn to speak. The fast pace with which we consume information today has trained us to expect instant gratification, particularly concerning questions. Waiting even a few minutes for responses to emails and text messages is unbearable for some.
Such behavior may have roots that go way back. As early as elementary school, we are taught that being “quick” is a sign of intelligence, work ethic, or a measure of how engaged we are with the material. In other words, for leaders and team members alike, being comfortable with having time and space to respond may require a process of unlearning associations with quick answers.
Benefits of pauses
Numerous studies prove that extending “think-time” after posing a question or idea has a drastically positive effect on how well others process and retain information. When leaders allow space for their team to think through decisions and develop answers to questions, everyone benefits. Team members have a chance to enhance their learning by being allowed time to think through a problem. Leaders, meanwhile, set themselves up for success because they are empowering their team to be less dependent on them for decisions that don’t necessarily require guidance. The result is a robust and confident team working under a leader who is bringing out the best in her direct reports. As an added bonus, leaders who encourage their direct reports to take time to think about their answers engender trust among their team.
How to ask questions with built-in think-time
Asking valid questions and allowing others time to respond should become part of everyday practice as a leader. Here are some tactics that may prove useful:
Ask only one question at a time – giving your team one question to mull over will encourage them to think deeply about their answer
Ask direct questions – avoid over-explaining; get to the point of what you need
Encourage your team to take their time to respond – emphasize that you are not testing anyone. Give them time to think
Be open to all responses – you may get an answer you disagree with and need some time of your own to think about how to proceed
Ask open-ended questions – instead of questions with a “yes” or “no” answer, ask questions that encourage your team to think; asking what they think about a problem or how they would approach it makes them feel like you value their opinion
The most effective leaders continuously look for ways to empower their teams. Asking thought-provoking questions and holding space for responses is one way to do that and is an art unto itself. It takes practice, time, and support. However, it is a skill that can benefit all aspects of a leader’s life, in and out of the office. The more that we model behaviors of active listening, asking thoughtful questions, and giving others time and space to respond, the more we will show up as leaders in the lives of others.
If you are seeking guidance in any area of leadership development, including asking questions and pausing for the answers, contact us today!